one of the best feelings in the world is the sense of euphoria you get when you're feeling inspired. for me it usually occurs at night, that is why I am writing this now at 10:50 pm. the thing that is bothering me is that I don't have the right word to describe this feeling, and I haven't had the time to fully analyze it. all I know is that I want to feel like this all the time. I have been listening to podcasts on The Messy Heads and writing down notes in my moleskin while babysitting. honestly, it doesn't get much better than this. I feel fulfilled. it's times like these where I know what I want to do with my life. I don't care that I'm not out at a party, I am happy being alone with my thoughts. I am not self-doubting I am SELF EMBRACING. the first podcast I listened to was episode five about numbing your emotions and I LOVED it. 10/10 would recommend. now I'm onto episode one about perfectionism, one of my favorite topics! the first day I saw my therapist she told me I needed to get the book The Gifts of Imperfection. you can guess how that went down. well, I ended up reading it and loving it. anyways back on track, so I'm listening to this podcast and it's really making me want to start one of my own. she talks about how much time we spend on our outside appearance, and if you really think about it, it's mindblowing. so I don't want to go on too much about what she said because I want everyone to listen to all of them, but I wanted to come on here. its been a while, I've been busy, no excuse. making youtube videos is kinda my thing now, and I'm having a blast, to say the least.
I want the people who hate on me to know that I feel for them. I hope that one day they can feel as confident as I do, to do their own thing, and not have to tear other people down. that's what I have been dealing with recently (haters). it does suck though when you hear people talking shit about you, really just not a fun feeling. but it's good because it's forcing me to grow a thick skin. I hope I can come on here more frequently to rant because it really does make me feel better.
please listen to these podcasts they are incredible